Joyeux Noël

In France, while I still have the say-so, we do not like the Noël so much. We think maybe Jesus is not too good. So we will make it go away. We call Décembre “Frigidaire,” you know? Like your icebox. We call Virgin Mary “Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom.” We let Le Père Noël keep [...]

My Soft Hands

How I love to read your billet doux electronique! So many questions of deep interest. Par exemple, you say, “Saint Just! Saint Just! How do you keep looking so young with so fresh skin? Do you bathe in the milk?” Mon dieu! Certainly not! The very idea! Tres dégoût! No, no, there is not [...]

Chant Sous la Pluie

So many foolish people they stand up in the tour bus and I must shout to them, “Asseyez-vous!” It is so when silly silly people say to me, “M. Just, for what do you say the painting of M. Caillebotte is called ‘Chant Sous la Pluie?’ You are so false, so false! And look: that [...]

Yves Saint Laurent — M. Beatnik

Saint-Just will help you think how French Couture goes. Picture in you eye this line: On the end here you see Mme. Coco. On the end there you see M. Crocodile. Now look. There in the middle you see Yves Saint Laurent.
He is no relation to me, Saint-Just. Ho ho! But he is nonetheless the [...]

Vote for Obama, un Homme des Humains

How I admire your fine black man, Barack d’Obama. Ah, but if only he had lived in my time of revolution, what good times we would have together, Barack and Saint Just!
That is why I must put in my deux centimes, although, you know, it is not my business what you do in America. Still, [...]

Sartor Resartus

Bienvenue, enfants! Welcome back to my France after such a good tour of the colonies. Now we turn ourselves to the great Literature of France. We read and discuss with heat the work of two great writers: Jean-Paul Sartre and Georges Simenon.
Sartre wrote the Nausea, because the pipe he smokes is very awful. Simenon decides [...]

Les Pop Art

M. Mao calls me on the phone. He says, “Saint Just! Saint Just! Come at once to New York with me. Mister Warhol wants to paint my face. Maybe he will paint your face also!” Well, this excites me very much so! I fly at once to “the Factory” and I sit very very still, [...]

RALchats

We citoyens of France love nothing more than to laugh audibly. Perhaps that is why we do love so the new fad of RALchats. I will teach you how to make RALchat.

It is so: You must have the funny photo of a cat or dog or even a walrus. On the photo you write the [...]

Le Cirque de Ballons Fous

Come one, come tout! Le Cirque she is in town! Ha ha!
We are a funny-loving people, we French. How we love to ridicule the clown and make fun with le jongleur! In and out of all the little villages you will see gay tents all filled with hooting peasants, of course, but also the reasonable [...]

Wine: The Fluid of France

When you think of France in your mind what do you see? But, you see wine, of course! We have hundreds of grapes and many, many kinds of bottles. Let us count and sip as we go.

Also, we have tiny bites of cheese, the glory of our peasants..
Now, many people in the world, they [...]